I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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