Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
