i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
