I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
