ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
