How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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