and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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