your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
