I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
