Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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