So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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