That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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