When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
