hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
