I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
