You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Randomize
