Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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