It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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