Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
