So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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