I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
