why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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