I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
