she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
its liver damage thursday
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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