if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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