i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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