You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
