I want to make a zoo with you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
