thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
