Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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