I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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