I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Randomize
