i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
