You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
do herpes really smell.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
