brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
did you just send me my own nude
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
