Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I could fuck to npr.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
