Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
