found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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