The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
did i walk over a car last night?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
