he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
