HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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