Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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