What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
