Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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