Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
