We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This is not my ceiling
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
