So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
