i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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