omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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