I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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