wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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